For lack of a better title, that actually sounds like a title. Because the post title I’m using sounds nooothing like one. Whatever.
this usually doesn’t happen. I mean, I’m usually not alone in the bedroom, but this weekend is an exception. My sister Abby (who shares a room with me), has flown away to TeenPact, leaving me here, to be a hermit, basking in solitude (JUST kidding, my sister. I miss you.)
My lamp is on, and there’s no one to tell me to “turn the freaking lamp down”. (But she doesn’t say freaking, usually).
My headphones boom “Neon Lights” by Demi . . . I have a Modern/Contemporia folder on Spotify . . .
I am in the blogging zone, a place of digital sunshine, flowers, and graphic exclamation marks. So. Here’s to kicking blogging-block to the curb. Farewell!
And . . . oh noes . . . my headphones are dying. Shucks.
It was an old joke that must have been over-exhausted by now. Even the puppet felt limp with it as Lydia pulled it out of her basket and examined its velvety material, the little bunny ears flopping forward on her palm.
Grandmama tautly watched Lydia from her seat on the couch, shoulders bent forward. Not in the elderly stoop, but in the manner a person assumes when prepared to jump in, start commenting with enthusiasm.
Lydia did not want to look up. She continued to watch the way the ceiling light glinted on the bunny-puppet’s velvet body.
Lydia’s lashes stirred slightly, as with her slight effort to look away from this joke of a puppet. She would have to slip it on her hand.
“Darling, I couldn’t wait for you.”
Her voice pierced him, although she never spoke. He could read the words in her eyes.
His throat slowly began to swell, until he could not even imagine speaking, until the pain constricted his every other sense, even his vision. Her face became blurred, her pile of hair an inky smudge over her brow. And her eyes! Like caverns, and his dizziness prevented him from seeing their spark.
The following was inspired by these lyrics:
//You’re trying to save me, stop holding your breath
You think I’m crazy, yeah, well that’s my plan//
(“The Monster” by Rhianna and Eminem)
//But you tell me to hold on, you tell me to hold on,
But all innocence is gone
What was right is wrong//
(“Bleeding Out” by Imagine Dragons)
“Look, something’s coming! Okay? Something’s going to happen and we can’t do anything about it.”
“We can’t?” He sounded, for the life of me, like a dazed child. Tears suddenly burnt my eyes.
“Yeah.” Because, I realized just then that he was lost, confused, and his ties that rooted him to past entangled every part of him. It became so disgustingly clear to me and I couldn’t stand to look at him.
All at once it was like I was the older one. I the firmly-grounded, while simultaneously my heart orbited out into oblivion wildly—he stood so near. His breath touched my cheek as his fingers brushed my arm.
“If i have done anything to give you cause to—to run away . . .”
Why on earth was he saying that? Something in his eyes frightened me. I did want to run away now.
I shook my head mutely.
A slow smile crossed his face, startling.
“The day ought to be fair, sweet—sweet, pungent of other greater things, and you must think me clumsy.”
The tremulous music of his voice flowed down over me to the ground.